he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
