i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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