Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
