So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can you bring me the toilet please
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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