I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
