Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
