i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
