PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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