i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
