I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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