If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just high enough for therapy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
