Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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