and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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