kristin has been a bad kristin
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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