Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
