She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
