I'm really into asian looking animals
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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