If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
