omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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