i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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