does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
