There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize