Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
