Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
