I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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