Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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