I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
