When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
