I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
