If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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