Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
What a dumb baby whore.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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