How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
