If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Houston, we have a blender
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
