I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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