i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
