Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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