Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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