Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it wasn't lemon gatorade
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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