If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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