Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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