I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
