I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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