i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
