Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize