if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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