i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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