I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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