So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
