Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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