I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He felt like a one man threesome
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
