I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
