I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think your dad took our porno
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
