Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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