still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
