I'm gonna have a badass scar
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
