I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
