guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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