For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
