She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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