i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize