Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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